Those guys over at Fandomania are more than meets the eye.  They just published this article I wrote about Transformers.  It took me a while to write this Transformers article, mostly because there are a bunch of different versions of Transformers.  There is the original Transformers cartoon, the anime version, the Beast Wars (which doesn’t have much to do with Transformers in my opinion, but that’s a whole different story) the late 80’s animated Transformers movie, and now the two live action Transformers movies.

Chicks dig my deep voice

But I also realized something while I was writing this article.  I realized that perhaps the primary reason it took me so long to write this Transformers article is that I am becoming a Michael Bay hater.  I don’t have anything against him as a person (except that he puts racist stereotypes into his movies sometimes. I am thinking specifically of Bad Boyz II and Transformers II. Then again he had a pretty good part for Cuba Gooding Jr. in Pearl Harbor.  Maybe he only does it in his sequels).  But the thing that does annoy me is his style of story telling.

What he does is this:  put a whole bunch of random stuff together in the first two acts, and then watch it all fall apart in the third act.  Sometimes it works, and sometimes it just turns into a big annoying mess.  The examples are: Bad Boyz I and Bad Boyz II, Pearl Harbor, The Rock, Armegeddon.  So as a director, he is a complete disaster sometimes, and he isn’t that bad other times.  But here is the thing that is annoying: his movies always make money.

Sometimes the movies are okay, and sometimes they are big stinky piles of that stuff that comes out of Fee Fee when you let her eat people food.  But they always make money. Entertaining like Bad Boyz I? Makes money.  Complete waste of time and an insult to the audience’s intelligence Like Bad Boyz II? Makes money.  It doesn’t matter how ridiculous the movie is, it still makes money.  Armeggedon, for example, was really annoying. But it made money.  The onion did a satirical article about this.  So, the guy has no reason to care whether the art he produces is any good. I hate that.  Also, he bankrupted GM. That’s annoying too.